Anytime anything goes wrong with our petty little lives, our immediate reaction is to blame someone else. That person didn’t do what he or she should have done. He or she did this wrong toward me. They are the ones who did this to me.
Or we blame something. Circumstances. Life. God.
We begin to question life itself. We start wondering why is life so unfair, why is god so unjust, why is the world so unbearable. In our worse moments we even begin to wonder if somehow the whole universe has conspired against us. It may even feel that there is probably no end to the present turmoil.
If we aren’t blaming others, life, world and universe, we begin to find faults with ourselves.
Surely, I deserved this pain and suffering, and that’s why I am going through such terrible time. Or perhaps I am not meant to experience joy and happiness. Or perhaps I am simply undeserving of nature’s blessing and gods’ grace. Or perhaps I am not intelligent or strong enough to find my way through this maze of life. Or perhaps this. Or that.
Why do we love to wallow in such self-pity? Is it because our vital egos somehow enjoy this negative self-analysis? Kind of like – if I can’t even have my moment of self-pity, what is the point of going through so much pain? But let’s think about it a little. Isn’t this self-pity just another form of an attention-seeking behaviour? Are we seeking attention from ourselves, from our own egos?
Maybe such behaviour happens because we are so used to look below. Always below.
Modern psychology, for the most part, tells us that anytime something is wrong with our lives, something isn’t going the way we would prefer, the cause is perhaps in our subconscious. And if we can only access those dark parts of our being, those parts hidden from our awareness, we may be able to identify the cause(s) and work upon those.
Not fully wrong. But not fully right either.
After all, given the vast complexity of Life and Existence how can one really know what possible factors have had an impact on a particular moment or experience of a particular individual? Out of all the infinite possibilities that exist out there, how would one know which particular possibility made a certain experience possible for a certain individual, me? And how will we begin to identify those tiny little hidden parts in ourselves where that one minuscule possibility out of the infinite possibilities have had an impact?
We don’t know. But somehow we still start to look for the possible cause(s) in the darkness-es of our being. In those parts that are not normally exposed to the light. In our past, in our stories from the past, our past, past of those near and dear to us. But can we ever really know our past? For that matter, can we ever really know our present? I mean, really know.
We don’t know and yet we keep looking.
Have you ever wondered how the outcome might be different if we looked up? Instead of groping in the dark if we allowed the light to come in, wouldn’t the looking become a lot easier, to begin with?
But from where would the light come? Can it be from the mind? But so much of our mind is also in darkness, hidden from us. Unsure of itself, uncertain, doubtful. Isn’t that so? We must look elsewhere.
That elsewhere has to be someplace higher than mind. Someplace more certain. Which actually sees and knows, not just processes information.
What is that source of certainty, that source of light which is capable of giving us an in-sight?
Is it to be found in religion? Spiritual quest? Ritualistic worship? Inner silencing? Belief? Faith? Karma yoga? Bhakti yoga? Meditation? Nature walk? Spiritual philosophy? Spiritual realisation? The answer may vary according to each temperament and inclination.
Easier said than done? Sure. Most things are. Almost all things are. But being the mental creatures that we are in our present stage of evolution, unless our minds are convinced of something we may not even entertain the possibility of trying it out.
Also, think about this. When we fall into a dark muddy pit would we rather continue to wallow in the mud or would we try to climb out by looking up?
Up toward the light.
“The significance of the lotus is not to be found by analyzing the secrets of the mud from which it grows here; its secret is to be found in the heavenly archetype of the lotus that blooms for ever in the Light above… you must know the whole before you can know the part and the highest before you can truly understand the lowest.” (Sri Aurobindo)
Linking with ABC Wednesday, Q: Q is for Quit